Do you think we have enough evidence to go for primary custody?
My Husband and I live on the west coast and my stepdaughter who is 5 and her mother live on the east coast. We have joint custody (summers, holidays, sprink break) We pay for all travel expenses to and from the homes.
Over the past two years we have kept a logbook and documented as much as we could to ensure that when the time is right that we would file for Primary custody.
Her mother does not work, does not go to school, and does not provide a dime to her daughters care. She’s 26 and lives with her parents in a 2br house – her and her daughter share a bedroom.
She sends all the medical bills to us to take care of even though we also cover her private insurance from across the US. She has even forged my husbands name on the guarantor for the Doctor’s office since she refuses to pay the co-payment.
Over 60% of our phone calls go unaswered when we call every tues, thurs, sat & sunday on schedule.
When my stepdaughter comes out for visitation, her clothes smell like urine, smoke and are FILTHY. So bad that the WHITE underwear her mother sent were GRAY and stained. Bleach could not even help. They had to be thrown out and new ones purchased by us. (we kept the clothing)
Each time she comes for visitation we spend over $250 on clothing since her mother does not send proper clothes for the seasons. (evne thought it’s written into custody)
All her clothes are innapropriate for a 5 year old. Halter tops, hand be downs…, hot pants, no socks are ever sent and no jacket either.
She has now moved the child’s residence 3 times and school 3 times to be with the newest BF she has “fallen in love with”. (All in the same year)
Each time she has moved, she has not given us notice – The only person to notify us is the school. ( It’s written in the custody that she must give us 30 day notice if she intends on moving.)
We have found out from our daughter herself that each time her mother moves in with her new BF, she is to sleep on the floor or couch of wherever she is at since there is no bed or bedroom for her.
My husband and I own a 3br/2ba home, make a good income, live in a good school district and are planning on starting a family in about a year.
Unfortunately people say that if I don’t have that “smoking gun” then the odds of us getting my stepdaughter on a more permanent basis are SLIM.
I don’t want to take her away from her mother completely, I would never do that…But I would like to provide a more stable life for her.
Any help or suggestions?
Do I Have Enough To Go After Primary Custody?
Nov - 03 | By: AHT | 2 comments.
Filed under : Health Insurance
2 Responses to “Do I Have Enough To Go After Primary Custody?”
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well if a social worker got involved then they would tell the mom the girl gets her own room and the mom can legally sleep on the couch.if her clothes smell bad then once again you may be able to have a parent aid go to the home to see if she has clean clothes but that is all , she can move and if she don’t give you notice you can call the cops and ask for her new address it is not against the law to move, i would not pay the money for all trips and phone calls and doctor visits ,you need to take that to court and set it straight,if not in current court order then don’t pay. when the child reaches a certain age ,i think it is 12 or 13 then the court will allow them to chose,i don’t see them taking a child away from it’s mother cause they are poor and the mom can allow the child to dress like a hootchie it is not against the law, if my child came home dressed in them type of clothes at 17 i would threw them away , i do the laundry.they know if the write a small word with ink pen on jeans then i threw them away , and no holes allowed or garbage they go,,,you have to set rules at a young age or they will play you .now if the mother has a drug problem or drinking problem then you may fight for the child,check the childs report cardand see if her grades are suffering from school changes or missing school, you may be able to try to get the court to flip it , and allow you to have her durring school and let her go to moms for the summer,you could say her grades suffer and you pay alot of doctor bills and buy school clothes and then you can threw in that her mother lets her dress wrong and smelly ,if you can get it switched then dont pay the gas for trips that you don’t have to pay ,that way if the mom dont care she will start seeing her less and less,so, you should call a lawyer and i think a judge my be more willing to have her be switched so she can go to school with you guys then to just remove her from her mom,,,then down the road when the mom sees her less then you try for full coustody….yes, it sounds like she will bennifit better with you so just call a lawyer………..yes, see if it can be changed and tell them she can be in a stable school at your home,,,,,you can always call another lawyer to see if she can have this all fliped before she has to attend this new school ,,,,,,,
if you can prove all of this you might have a case but go to the person who does your child support etc (lawyer) about all the stuff the mother is doing wrong like not buying clothes and making the daughter sleep on couches.