We have been together for six months, but are very committed. We have already spoken of marriage. I’m 31, he’s 34. He says he’d have to make too many changes, says he’d have to give up his job (he travels), sell his house (its not right to bring up a child, in his mind). Also, I do not have medical insurance, and he is concerned about the costs. He becomes furious everytime we discuss keeping our child. I did not plan this, it is not how I envisioned things, but since we have been blessed with a child, and I have strong feelings about not wanting an abortion, I just wish I could be excited about becoming a mother. He says he will support me, no matter what decision I make. I would really appreciate any feedback, to help me with this huge and difficult decision. Thank you.
I’m Pregnant. My Boyfriend Wants Me To Get An Abortion, But I Don’t Feel Its Right. What Should I Do?
Oct - 27 | By: AHT | 31 comments.
Filed under : Health Insurance
31 Responses to “I’m Pregnant. My Boyfriend Wants Me To Get An Abortion, But I Don’t Feel Its Right. What Should I Do?”
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As somone who has had a miscarriage, if you don’t feel right about abortion then do not go through with it. In my eyes you will feel similar feelings that I did–you will have lost a child that you didn’t want to loose and you’ll feel a lot of pain and guilt, etc.
Yes, it wasn’t planned and there aren’t IDEAL situations, but many children are born into situations that aren’t perfect–honestly, when you look at every persons’ life, there’s usually SOME reason why it ”isn’t the right time” if you look hard enough.
If you want children and dont’ have them already, you also need to think about your time-frame. How old do you want to be when you have children? If you pick an age less than ten years from now, do you really see a dramatic change in your life happening that would make it the PERFECT time to have a child?
Do not let your boyfriend pressure you to get an abortion if you don’t feel right about it. The most important thing is that the child has a loving parent, which you can provide. All the ‘costs’ can be worked out. If you don’t have insurance, get medicaid (sp) until you can afford insurance. Sure, you might get stuck with the doctor’s visit costs and the labor fees, but that’s a small price to pay for the life of your son or daughter.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
It would be better if your decision were based on your feelings about being a mother and raising a child rather than on your feelings about abortion. Having a child is about the biggest commitment you can make. If you are ready to make that drastic change in your life, and devote most of your energies to your child, you should have the child. Also you are 31, and you do not have forever to have a child. After 35 it becomes significantly more difficult to get pregnant. So if you want to make the commitment, now may be the time.
I get the sense, though that you are really not sure you even want to be a mother. If so, then I think it is a shame to bring a child into the world just because of your own feelings about the morality of abortion, especially where your feelings seem to conflict so strongly with your boyfriend’s.
don’t listen to any other voice but your own heart. What do YOU feel right about doing? If your answer has a ‘should’ or ‘ought’ in it, chances are its not from your heart. You said you had a strong feeling about not wanting an abortion. That’s important.
What do YOU want to do?
He is right about costs etc but maybe he should have thought about that before he had sex with you?
Six months isn’t long. I had a child after being with someone for a short time and at a young age, the relationship didn’t work out but I wouldn’t give my daughter up for anything! She’s the best decision I’ve ever made.
Do you feel you could to look after a child without him? I feel you should also think about whether this is the type of person you really want to be with long time? Where would your relationship be going? If you terminated the pregnancy would you end up hating him for it? But would you really want him to be the father of any child?
Feel free to message me if you want to chat.
I think you should have it.
I mean, I am young but i would have it.
It isnt the kid/baby’s fault.
I am not going to get religious or anything.
I think it is wrong but I also think it should be your own choice.
…
Shake him off. If he loved you he would be happy.
Fine someone else that will love you for you.
I hope this helps.
**^A,Okay?^**
Yikes!!! It sounds like you have a HUGE decision to make. You both really need to talk about all of this and make the choice that is right for both of you. I’m a Mom and it is the greatest thing in the entire world but I also have a great supportive husband. It would have been really tough if I had to do it all alone. I would have done it in a heart-beat but it would have been tough.
Do what YOU think is right. By the way you are describing your boyfriend, he sounds a little bit dramatic. You will work it out, and everything will be fine.
And Congratulations!!!
its ur choice if u ewant a abortion its inside ur body not his if u want a baby then get it. u cant kill someone. that u love or want to be around. just do wat u feel is right. its not his ovaries thats been played with.
ok abortion should not be an option…just think if ur mom wouldve had one u wouldnt be here. when i got preg the thought did cross my mind but now im 2 weeks away from my due date and i whether i an afford it or not i am going to try my best. also i didnt have insurance so i got on medicaid u caould try that
Please dont do it… Even though the baby is unborn, it still has a life inside of you. If you feel you cant take care of it, hospial costs, and such, there are places around that can help you. You could always have the baby and put it up for adoption so that another family can love and care for it as much as you could.
Just follow your heart, and if he doesnt support you in your decision with your baby, then he isnt the right one for you.
If you need any further information, contact me and I can put you in contact with a friend of mine that works for a pregnancy crisis center that may be able to help you in some degree, even though your not in this area.
first of all what is best for you is what your bf should consider if he really loves you.You mentioned that he got a job,house and you’re both commited to each other…and that you already talk about marriage… so you dont have insurance SO WHAT?!… why should he sell the house? why should he qiut his job? being pregnant doesn’t mean being paralized?you’re both on right age when are you both gonna plan on having a baby? when your 40? ask him if he’s only worried cause you dont have any insurance and its not been planned isn’t it a little bit of shallow of him? its not what you want and abortion is ereversible (dont get me wrong) but what i mean is…what if you abort it and realizes that you want to keep it in the end?its not only you who got the same problem…girl think about it there a lot of single mother out there….and most of them haved survived
Above all, the decision must be yours and yours alone. ABortion is not a “quick fix” and can leave you with a lot of pain, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
If the baby is born, can you look after it?
If you have an abortion, can you take the grief and the guilt?
Whatever you decide, is a relationship with someone who makes these demands to preserve his lifestyle and comfort at your expense worth it?
What I would say is, if your man does not able to love the child he created enough to commit to it’s well being, he is not committed to you. If you share your life with someone, you must be willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of the relationship, for the sake of your partner. Would he stick around if you got sick? What does he expect from you? Excuse me for saying, but it sounds like things are on his terms. They must be on yours as well for an equal partnership
Hey,If u think its right to keep your baby,the decision is ultimately up to u.He says he will support u no matter what u do, and eventually i think he’ll come around,but it might take a while for him to get used to.best of luck.
I would suggest keeping the baby, mainly because I don’t think it is right to rob an innocent little soul of a life.
But that’s just how I see it. Think it clearly, through and through, make sure you make the right decision.
I became a dad when I was 32. We had been married a couple of years and planned the baby. I just want to mention that up front, so you have some idea of where I’m coming from (full disclosure and all that).
Your boyfriend is 34. I’m pretty sure that somewhere along the way he learned that sex can lead to babies. He was man enough to get you pregnant, he needs to be man enough to be deal with the consequences and be a dad to this baby. Abortion is the losers’ way out.
Gee, that’s really a shame he might have to change his life style because he fathered a child. Deal with it, pal. Be a man.
If that sounds harsh, well… maybe it is, but if you’re man enough to stick it in her, you better be man enough to raise the baby that could result from it.
Raising my daughter for the past ten years has been, by far, the greatest source of joy in my entire life. If this baby is aborted, you are not only ending a life, you are ending the most amazing experience either of you will ever have.
I would say follow your heart. if you want this baby keep it. Let your boyfriend know, and give him a chance to sort out his own feelings to. No one is ever 100% prepared for a child no matter your income, or age. your boyfriend is right about having to make changes, but they may not be a drastic as he belives, he don’t have to give up his job, if you both can agree on arangements. he is home enough to own a home. as for a house a infant wont care about the size, all it will care about is having people who care and love her/him. depending on your income you may be able to get assistance for medical through the government. Also as you get older the harder it is on you your body to have a baby. Good luck
I dont believe in abortion.I am 24 w/2 kids.5 and 1.i am married.I was a single mother at 19 for a while.We arent rich and we struggle from time 2 time.But we are a very happy family and our kids dont go w/out.You arent getting any youngerand may not have this chance again.You will become excited later on in your pregnancy when the baby moves or you see it on the ultrasound hear its heart beat.I didnt plan on being such a young mother but wouldnt trade it for anything in this world.Please no abortions.Good Luck sweetpea!!!
oh man. he’s really not prepared for this i can see. maybe you should get a professional (counsellor) to give better advice?
listen to yoUr heart , its ur baby , abortion is killing , don’t let anyone even think of killing your own baby
I say don’t get an abortion because you don’t feel it’s right and for other reasons. The child has a right to live. You could either keep the child or put him/her up for adoption if you can’t. There are many people out there in the world who would like to adopt a child. There’s also the chance your child might make a positive difference in the world in the future.
You would miss out on a lot of joyful things in life with the child if you get an abortion. Sure there are lots of responsibilities that come with it, but they are worth having a child. It would be a good learning experience.
I’m only 15, so I don’t have first hand experience. Judging by other peoples stories about having a child and actually playing with babies made me want to wait until I’m old enough to have one. I still know they can bring joy to everyones lives, and maybe even improve them. It can be hard work caring for the child, but in the end it’s worth it. Don’t listen to your boyfriend when he tells you to get an abortion.
There could be a lot more reasons to not get an abortion, but I can’t think of them right now.
Noooooooooooooooo!! Don’t abhort…its murder!! You have been given a gift from God. Treasure it. Things will work out as they always do in the end. He is just scared at the moment and can’t take it in. Get yourself medically insured as soon as possible or try and find some solution to this. Why would he have to give up his job? What has his job got to do with you having the baby? Why does he have to sell his house for you to have a baby….it doesn’t quite make sense. Surely the parents on both sides should be able to help you both in some way?
Do YOU want this baby? End of story, if you do then go for it, there’s support for you and the little ‘un and everything will turn out fine. Your partner might come round to the idea and if he doesn’t then you and he are not meant to be and you and your baby will have a wonderful life together. If you don’t want the baby then you have to do what you have to do, but you have to live with this decision for the rest of your days, and if you are doing it to stay with him then it will part you guys in the end. Good luck. Do what YOU want, for you.
I’m,not one for abortion but you have to think about everything first. You both will ajust to a baby and he wouldn’t have to quit his job just make changes to it a little and why sell the house. You two can make that work too.
Hey girl it takes two tell him to wear ajacket if ya know what i mean i am against abortions unless ya are under age and been raped.
if you play with fire ya get burnt.
First off I imght be a little younger than you but I have been through alot during my pregnancy…(I am having my baby Tuesday the 22nd) I never though about abortion as an alternative to financial situations. I had to quit my job when I was 3 months along, The babys father left me, and I have been in and out of the hospital for 4 months now. First off you CAN get help with medical costs anywhere that you live…(if you are not married to him you are still considered “single” and therefore will be entitled to medical benifits. Now on the other that he is worried about…discuss being a stay-at-home mom and taking care of the baby. Babies are very precious and are wonderful blessings please do not make the wrong desicion just becasue it will “inconvienience” your boyfriend.
what an amazing blessing!!!!! I have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old son who is my life!!!!!! God has given you a gift. Whether your boyfriend supports you or not You are carrying a life inside your body- and it is your responsibility to make the right decision. I know that if my mom who was only sixteen years old when she had my brother, can make it you can! The most amazing gift a woman can give is life- I can’t imagine my life without my son- I seriously sometimes sit down and cry like I am at this very moment thinking of how God truly has given me such a great honor- I am sure you will make a great mother. Trust me I went through A messy divorce when my son was only 4months old- I thought I was the worst mom for doing this but I had no choice God will give you strength to get through anything, Be excited with or without him- You are going to be a Mommy. Set the example no matter what it costs , do what is right no matter how hard, and love that baby like you love yourself!!!! I will be praying for you!
Obviously you want this baby and there is no reason you shouldn’t keep the child. Children are blessings and none of us are ever really “ready” for a child. But, the saying is that if you wait until you are ‘ready’ to have a child, that you will never have one.
If you feel strongly about keeping the baby, then follow your instincts! The fact that he is pushing you to get an abortion doesn’t say much for him – if he loves you then he should realize having a baby will be a wonderful thing. As for the insurance issue – you can always see what kind of assistance you qualify for or you can check around with different insurances/hmo’s that will accept you even though you are pregnant. Best of luck to you!
You’re second guessing it. That is reason enough to not do it. You know what the outcome is, anything a selfish man has to say shouldn’t be heard. You can get financial aid from the state. Welfare is there to provide for you and your baby. And honestly, I’d rather do it without the downer BF… Then again when he hears his baby’s laugh maybe it’ll put some of his life into perspective. Sounds like to me he still wants to party. This kind of comitment would make the marriage that he talks about a reality. Its tough, but totally worth it. Keep her/him in yo belly!
Don’t kill your baby. There are many things you can do. If he is not willing to marry you and support the baby, you are old enough to handle being a single mom. If it’s just too overwhelming for you, give the baby up for adoption.
i just don’t understand why you would want to bring a child into the world where one parent doesn’t want him …lets say you do have it and your b/f doesn’t want anything to do with it ??? so then you get child support and he is bitter and he grows to HATE REPEAT HATE the child ?? Is that worth it ?? are you so selfish that you would do that to someone that doesn’t want to have a child and think of your kid, I just wish people would wise up and have children with a partner that wants to have kids and not try to trap a man by getting knocked up
You can`t force a guy to be a dad. Its not in our nature. Have the abortion.