I feel like my life was God’s first mistake.I did not ask to be here and if he gave me that option I would’ve gave that opportunity to someone who is more deserving.I know some of you have read questions posted similar to this one,but if only you could understand what I feel.I am this angry,bitter,and sad person inside.I am not respected by anyone,maybe because I do not respect them.I reached out but I was told to help myself,but what if you don’t know how?When I was a little girl I never expected for my life to be like this at 24.I am a hopeless mess.I am still living with my mom,who treats me like a kid,which is understandable because I am living in her house without anything accomplished of my own.A few years ago,I was doing way better than I am now.Then I hit a rut in my life.I am in a hole and do not know how to get out.People say take up a activity and do this or that,but what if living doesn’t motivate you anymore?? What if seeing the sun isn’t as beautiful as it use to be? What if instead of being happy you woke up this morning,you are upset you have to face another painful day?? I often avoid phone calls from old friends because I am ashamed of who I am becoming,not who I became,because it’s like I am watching myself deteoriate right before my eyes.My dental problem has stopped my life as well.Feeling like if I go on acting auditions or do my shows(I sing) I cannot compete,because of my chipped teeth in the front.I have no medical or dental insurance,and things are expensive.I have no car,no hang out friends,and if I liked a guy(since I was a teen) he always liked someone else instead of me.My life is horrific.So I sit in my room,where I gained approximately 80lbs in a few years,and listen to my mom and sis tell me what a mess I am.How do you go from being signed by every modeling agency open call you ever went to,to attending college,traveling across country,buying your first car…to having nothing..i mean literally nothing,no car,no bank account,no money to buy nothing at all,no close friends,nothing…??? I am not who I want to be.I just turned 24,but I feel like a old woman.My body is giving up because my heart left a long time ago.My mind is holding on by a string.I have nothing to wake up to in the morning.I keep looking at these morphine pills and a part of me is saying go for it.I just feel like a waste to the world.People that enjoy life die everyday and you got people like me that took their spot,and it’s not fair.I hate my name,i hate what i been through and what i am going through,i hate my mistakes,i hate my skin,i hate my teeth,I hate when people compliment me on my skin or say i am pretty,i hate being me,i hate my life,i hate the day God decided to give me life.I hate waking up every morning not knowing what I am going to face.My life is in shambles,so why should I live?? I have no reason to live like this,I can make room on this Earth if I just left it.I am so distraught right now.I just wanted to experience what living was ,since I was given this opportunity to do it.I just wanted to be loved…even if it were a lie,just for a one second,i wanted to be loved.I am so tired,just physically and emotionally drained,i cannot take but so much.I am just a 24 year old young lady,who wanted to try life out.Is this life worth it,when you are worthless??
When You Are Feeling Depressed And Not Caring If You Lived Or Died? How Do You Cope Or How Do You Overcome?
Oct - 30 | By: AHT | 8 comments.
Filed under : Health Insurance
8 Responses to “When You Are Feeling Depressed And Not Caring If You Lived Or Died? How Do You Cope Or How Do You Overcome?”
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Oh honey, I read what you wrote and my heart felt your pain. I wish there was a quick and easy fix but it is not. I am almost going through the same pattern and I am 24 too. Some days are just so painful to go through, I hear you. I know how it feels to not have any motivation and feel lonley and helpless. I understand how hard and overwhelming it is to take control of your life. When I sit down and think about everything that went wrong, I sit down and cry all day. It helps to take one step at the time and one problem at the time. Please don’t listen to anyone who puts you down. You need a lot of support and positive people around you. You will get through all these, I promise you but you have to take it slowly and find some small reasons that keeps you going. Please email me if you want to talk more. You are not alone. A big hug!
It sounds to me like you lost “life” inside of your spirit and you are angry at something but you don’t know what it is.First,I think you need to tell your mom to give you more space and treat you as an adult not a child.Try finding a job and meeting new people.With life you have to keep trying.There isn’t success without trial and failure.try taking walks,thinking positive thoughts,take calls from old friends and try to accomplish something new.Don’t let what you look like bring you down.Maybe you qualify for Medicaid in your state.Try taking the taxi and ask for money from your parents and see if they can help you get a job,open a bank account.Secondly,you have to stop talking and believing in hatred.YOU need to believe in hope and trust me by believing that you can do something will take you a long way and it will pay off.
Bella,
What I get from reading your question is:
1. You care about yourself. You are not happy with your situation right now and you may feel that your situation is hopeless, but you still care. Keep caring; that is the best way to help yourself. People contemplate suicide often, but I think if you still care about yourself you have the best chance of getting through your pain.
2. You care about others. You mention that “People that enjoy life die everyday and you got people like me that took their spot,and it’s not fair.” This tells me you care about other people. Suicide does not help any of them. It hurts them. Believe me.
3. You know how fulfilling life can be, because you experienced it. It can be again. Don’t worry about when or how, just know that you can get there again. It’s true.
4. Someone else loves you. You mention your Mother and Sister, but how they tell you what a mess you are. If they didn’t care about you why would they even bother to tell you. Don’t be discouraged by what they say. Just be encouraged that they still care enough to tell you. They might not know the best way to help you, but they probably would, if they did.
5.You need help. You deserve help. Here is a phone number for a National Suicide Hotline. 1-800-784-2433 Please call the number. Just tell them how you are feeling. Tell them about the question you wrote on Yahoo!! Answers. Tell them that you want help. Even if you think you really aren’t serious about taking your life just give them a call. They might be able to give you information and refer you to resources that can help you.
6. It is very possible that your problem is entirely medical. Depression is a treatable medical condition. Look for free medical clinics in your area. The number above may be able to refer you.
Good luck to you. I wish you happiness.
You are not worthless, and God loves you and part of the life he gave you is about getting through tough times. Everybody has trials. Be strong for your family if you can’t be strong for yourself. Sit down with your mom or your sister and express your feelings, everything you told us, to her and ask her to help you get “back on your feet”.
Being pretty isn’t everything – you know that since you hate it when people tell you you are pretty. So rise above superficiality and go back to college or get a job (try to find a job that gives you insurance, so you can get your teeth fixed, and explore your city’s public transportation or ask your mom or sister to help you out with rides for a while since it’s for a good cause), I know I am much happier now that I’m in college and not sitting around the house. It gives me purpose and a goal. Set goals for yourself and make a real plan to accomplish them – that’s the key to getting out of a “rut”.
Talk to a therapist and explore your feelings, or at least tell your doctor about your depressed feelings, and try to get some antidepressants to help you see that the sun is still beautiful and that your life is not a waste, as you are only 4 years older than myself and you have your whole life ahead of you.
Your problems are fixable, trust me. Your teeth, being jobless, not being in college, not having insurance, your depressed feelings. I’ve jumped some of those hurdles and gotten to the other side. Please do the things I told you that you can do.
Best of luck.
i had things goingwell for me and i ran into things. mental and it lead to physical. i was at rock bottom but i decided to fight and keep fighting. i knopw life wont ever be perfect but i can not live without giving my all. i hope this helps and if you ever need to talk mail me back
Hi, this is quite the question!!, depression plays tricks on you, it tells you things are hopeless, when infact there is still hope. I t tells you life is only suffering when there is love to be found.It tells you there is no way out, when there is a way out.Appreciate yourself and the good things in life, believe me there are some good things if you really look.Look for new friends and don’t surround yourself with people who only see the bad and negative, where possible set reasonable goals for yourself, writing a journal also helps, expressing your pain anger fears and emotions. Take care of yourself eat a healthy and well balanced diet and above all please get some help, there is a life after depression.Belive!, believe in yourself, aspire to the goals you set for yourself, you sound by your question an intelligent person,your life is worthwhile you can retrieve it by help and and love from those positive around you.Try if possibe to embrace life you were given it so embrace it. No it wont initially be easy , but I am positive with help and more self esteem you can do it. I wish you the very very best
You need to go to the doctor and get some anti-depressants to help lift you out of this rut. Life will get better. You are not worthless. You have just hit a temporary low point. I wanted to kill myself at one point in my life, but found the strength to fight through it. My life is so much better today. I am glad I am still here. I read books – self help books – to give me a different perspective on life and gave me tools to cope better with life. Exercise will help with depression, go out right now and take a hard, fast walk for 30 minutes. Do that every day. You really will begin to feel better. And go to the doctor and get some antidepressants. Life does not have to be this way. Please seek help.
I hope I can find the right words to just give you a little hope. Every life has seasons, and maybe it has been winter for a very long time, but spring will come. When you look back on your entire life this will be a small dot in the road. I know it may not feel like it now, but you would be shocked to know how much your life can change in a very short time. Please try to wait it out, and take some steps to change the things you aren’t happy about. If you need to feel free to email me at kateshebs@mynsp.com.